Romance and impersonation scams: how to protect yourself
Romance scams and catfishing can build trust before asking for money; slow down, verify claims independently and report concerns promptly.
How this guide was prepared
Purpose: urgent guidance · Level: detailed
Checked by: Does Your Duck Quack. Sources are linked below; seek professional advice for individual circumstances.
The short answer
What to do first
Romance scams and catfishing can build trust before asking for money; slow down, verify claims independently and report concerns promptly.
Start here: A romance scammer may build a close relationship online, then ask for money for an emergency, travel, fees or an investment. They may avoid meeting or speaking live, move conversations between services, or ask you to keep the request secret. An impersonator may claim to be from a bank, police, HMRC or another trusted organisation and say you must act now. Treat urgency, secrecy and instructions to move money as warning signs, even when the person knows details about you.
Do not wait: Call 999 if someone is in immediate danger or a fraudster is at the door. Call your bank on 159 or a known number straight away if money has been sent.
Visual guides
See the decision at a glance
- 1. Notice pressureUrgency, secrecy and requests for money can signal impersonation or romance fraud.
- 2. Verify separatelyCall a relative or organisation using a number you already trust.
- 3. Protect the codeAgree a private family code word; never move money to a “safe account”.
- 4. Act quicklyCall your bank on 159 or a known number if money has been sent.
- England, Wales, NIReport fraud through Report Fraud after contacting your bank.
- ScotlandContact Police Scotland on 101; call 999 for immediate danger.
- Disputed reimbursementAsk the bank for its decision and complaint route, then consider the Financial Ombudsman.
Scope of this guide
This guide helps you understand the options and questions to ask. It is not personal medical, legal or financial advice. Check the official sources for your nation and seek qualified help for high-stakes decisions.
Call 999 for a life-threatening emergency. For an urgent problem that is not clearly life-threatening, use the official NHS urgent-care route for the UK nation you are in. Have the address, symptoms, onset time, medicines and allergies ready.
Who this guide is for
People using online dating or social media, and families who want a calm plan for checking unexpected money requests.
Romance scams use a made-up or misleading relationship to gain trust and may lead to requests for money, personal details or account access, so warning signs can be harder to assess when the contact feels trusting or emotionally close. A scammer may use a false identity online, sometimes called catfishing, so a relationship that feels genuine still deserves careful boundaries. A person may be contacted by someone claiming affection, authority or family connection. Being deceived is not a failure or something to be ashamed of. The safest response is a pause, a separate check using a trusted route, and quick contact with the bank if money has moved.
What to do now
1. Recognise pressure and secrecy
A romance scammer may build a close relationship online, then ask for money for an emergency, travel, fees or an investment. They may avoid meeting or speaking live, move conversations between services, or ask you to keep the request secret. An impersonator may claim to be from a bank, police, HMRC or another trusted organisation and say you must act now. Treat urgency, secrecy and instructions to move money as warning signs, even when the person knows details about you.
2. Check a family emergency separately
A message such as “Hi Mum” or “Hi Dad” may claim a relative has a new number or urgent problem. Before sending money, call the family member on the number already saved or contact another relative. Agree a family code word for unexpected requests, but do not share it in a group chat or online profile. A familiar voice is not proof: AI tools can imitate voices from recordings. If something feels unusual, end the call and reconnect through a number you already trust.
3. Never move money to a so-called safe account
A genuine bank or police officer will not ask you to move savings to a “safe account”, hand over cash, share a one-time passcode or install software so they can take control. End the call or stop replying. Look up the organisation’s contact details independently, then call using a number from a card, statement or official website. Do not use a number, link or callback option supplied by the person who contacted you. If pressured, ask someone you trust to stay with you while you check.
4. Act quickly if you have sent money
Contact your bank immediately using a trusted number. In the UK, 159 can connect callers to participating banks, but you can also use the number on your card or statement. Ask the bank to try to stop or recover the payment and record that you were tricked into authorising it. Do not pay a recovery company or a person who promises to get the money back for a fee; that may be another scam. Keep messages, phone numbers, account details and dates for a report.
5. Report the incident and ask about reimbursement
Authorised push payment (APP) scam protections apply to eligible UK Faster Payments and CHAPS transfers from 7 October 2024. The Payment Systems Regulator’s current rules set a maximum reimbursement limit of £85,000 per claim; an optional excess may apply, and exclusions and process rules matter. Contact the bank first and ask for its decision in writing. Report fraud to Report Fraud in England, Wales and Northern Ireland; in Scotland, contact Police Scotland on 101. If the bank refuses a claim, ask how to take it to the Financial Ombudsman Service.
6. Talk about targeting without blame
If someone you care about is being targeted, stay calm and avoid criticising them. Shame can make a person hide contact or send more money to recover what is lost. Ask permission to look at the message together, help them block contact if they want, and offer to call the bank or report with them. Review privacy settings and passwords after the immediate concern is handled. If a caller is at the door and will not leave, or anyone is in immediate danger, call 999.
Warning signs and checks
- Pause before sending money or sharing a code.
- Verify requests by calling a known number or person.
- Agree a family code word and keep it private.
- Never move money to a “safe account”.
- Call the bank promptly if money has been sent.
- Keep evidence and report through the correct national route.
Common questions
What should I do if I have sent money to a romance scammer?
Contact your bank immediately using the number on your card or statement, or call 159 if your bank participates. Ask it to try to stop the payment and explain the reimbursement process. Keep messages and payment details, then report the fraud through the police route for your nation. Do not pay anyone who promises to recover the money for an upfront fee.
Can a voice call from a relative be fake?
A familiar voice alone is not proof that a call is genuine. AI tools can imitate voices from recordings, so agree a private family code word and call back on a number you already know. Do not share the code word publicly. If the request is urgent, pause and verify through a second person or an established contact route before sending money.
Will my bank reimburse an authorised bank-transfer scam?
Eligible APP scams sent through UK Faster Payments or CHAPS are covered by the current reimbursement requirement, subject to its scope and exceptions. The maximum is £85,000 per claim and an optional excess may apply. Report it promptly to your bank and ask for its decision in writing. If you disagree, use the bank’s complaint process and then ask the Financial Ombudsman Service about your case.
Who do I report a scam to in Scotland?
Contact your bank first if money was sent. In Scotland, report suspected crime to Police Scotland on 101 unless there is immediate danger, when you should call 999. Report Fraud is the reporting route for England, Wales and Northern Ireland. Keep evidence and note the crime or reference number so you can share it with the bank or an advice service.
What is catfishing?
Catfishing is when someone uses a false identity online, often with copied photographs or invented personal details. It can be used to form a romantic connection and then ask for money, gifts, intimate images or account access. Do not treat a video call or convincing story as proof of identity. Pause before sending anything, speak to someone you trust and use the guide’s reporting steps if you think a fraud has happened.
Differences across the UK
The PSR reimbursement requirement covers eligible UK Faster Payments and CHAPS transfers, with detailed scope rules. Report Fraud handles reports in England, Wales and Northern Ireland; in Scotland use Police Scotland. Consumer and police reporting routes differ by nation, so use the route for where the fraud occurred and contact the bank immediately wherever you live.
Call 999 if someone is in immediate danger or a fraudster is at the door. Call your bank on 159 or a known number straight away if money has been sent.
Primary sources
The publisher checked this guide against the 6 official sources below. This is an editorial source check, not approval by a clinician, lawyer or benefits adviser.
- Payment Systems Regulator: APP fraud reimbursement protections
- Stop Scams UK: 159 phone number
- Report Fraud
- Police Scotland: Contact police
- Financial Ombudsman Service: Report a scam
- Citizens Advice: Romance scams
Related guides
- Protecting yourself from telephone scams
- Recovering after a scam or fraud
- Online banking safely: logins, payments and trusted help
- Abuse, neglect and financial control: how to get help
- Dating and new relationships later in life
Editorial note: By Does Your Duck Quack.
