Living Well at Home UKClear, practical guidance for later life
Practical guide

By Does Your Duck Quack

Loneliness and social connection: finding a first step

Befriending services offer regular social contact by phone or in person; ask what the local service provides and choose a pace that feels comfortable.

Checked: 12 October 2026 · Next review: 12 April 2027 · Applies to: UK, with nation notes
How this guide was prepared

Purpose: how to guidance · Level: detailed

Checked by: Does Your Duck Quack. Sources are linked below; seek professional advice for individual circumstances.

The short answer

What to do first

Befriending services offer regular social contact by phone or in person; ask what the local service provides and choose a pace that feels comfortable.

Start here: Ask whether the person misses conversation, shared activity, practical help, neighbours or family contact. They may prefer one trusted person to a group. Respect chosen solitude; the person can explain whether being alone feels welcome or unwanted.

Visual guides

See the decision at a glance

Make connection easier
  1. 1. Ask what is missedFind out whether the person wants conversation, activity, family contact or practical help.
  2. 2. Remove one barrierConsider transport, cost, hearing, pain, fatigue, stairs or caring duties.
  3. 3. Try one small contactArrange a regular call, familiar visit or activity the person chooses.
  4. 4. Review the fitAsk whether to continue, adapt or try something different.
Choose the kind of contact
  1. One-to-oneA call, visit or regular check-in with someone trusted.
  2. Shared activityA local group, class, lunch club or volunteering role.
  3. BefriendingAsk about matching, safeguarding, privacy and how to stop.
  4. Online contactTry video calling if it suits the person and their access needs.

Scope of this guide

This guide helps you understand the options and questions to ask. It is not personal medical, legal or financial advice. Check the official sources for your nation and seek qualified help for high-stakes decisions.

Who this guide is for

People who feel lonely or disconnected, including those whose health, caring role or circumstances have narrowed their social life.

A befriending service offers planned social contact, often by phone or a regular visit, for someone who would like more connection, which can be true even when someone has people around them or regular contact with others. It is not a substitute for clinical care or practical care, and the format depends on the local service, so ask about matching, privacy, accessibility and what happens if a volunteer is unavailable. Some people enjoy plenty of time alone; others can feel lonely in a crowded room. Bereavement, retirement, illness, hearing loss, caring, mobility, money or a move can change how connected daily life feels. Loneliness is not a personal failure, and a useful response starts with what the person misses and what makes contact difficult.

Practical steps

1. Ask what connection would feel like

Ask whether the person misses conversation, shared activity, practical help, neighbours or family contact. They may prefer one trusted person to a group. Respect chosen solitude; the person can explain whether being alone feels welcome or unwanted.

2. Remove the barrier before adding an activity

Find out whether pain, fatigue, transport, cost, stairs, hearing, anxiety or caring duties make contact hard. A lift, quiet venue or accompanied first visit may help more than encouragement. Offer choices and let the person decide.

3. Start with a small, repeatable contact

Agree one small step: a regular call, library activity, volunteering, community group or short familiar visit. A routine can be easier than arranging something new each time. The person can try once and decide whether it suits them.

4. Use befriending and telephone support thoughtfully

Local organisations may offer volunteer visitors or telephone friendship. Ask about matching, safeguarding, privacy, cost and how to stop or change the arrangement. Age UK and Independent Age explain possible support routes, but local availability differs.

5. Notice when loneliness may be part of a health concern

Long-lasting loneliness can sit alongside low mood, anxiety or loss of confidence. Ask gently about sleep, appetite and coping. A GP can help when distress persists or daily life is affected. Use the nation’s urgent route or 999 in an emergency.

Questions and checks

Common questions

Is it unhealthy to be alone?

No. Solitude can be welcome; loneliness is an unwanted feeling of lacking connection. What matters is whether the person feels satisfied and can get help when wanted. If being alone is distressing, ask what kind of contact would feel useful rather than assuming they need a busy social schedule.

How do I help a relative who feels lonely?

Ask what they miss and whether a barrier such as transport, hearing or confidence is involved. Offer choices and accept a no without withdrawing affection. A short predictable call may help more than an ambitious schedule. If wanted, help arrange a first visit and let them decide whether to return.

Where can an older person find a befriender?

Ask local charities, community organisations, libraries, faith groups or the council about volunteer visits and telephone friendship. Age UK and Independent Age can explain possible routes, but local availability varies. Before sharing details, ask how matching, safeguarding, privacy and ending the arrangement work.

What is a befriending service?

A befriending service connects someone with a trained volunteer for regular conversation or a shared activity, usually by phone or in person. It can provide friendly contact, but it is not counselling, emergency support or a care service. Local schemes set their own arrangements, including who they can support and how visits are matched. Ask a charity, carers’ centre or council directory what is available nearby.

Differences across the UK

Community groups, social prescribing, libraries, volunteering and befriending are organised locally, so availability differs among councils, NHS areas and voluntary organisations across England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland. Ask the GP practice, council community team, library or local carers and older-person organisations what exists nearby. A person may also reconnect online through video calling if that suits them, while keeping in-person options available. Urgent mental-health routes are different in each nation.

Primary sources

The publisher checked this guide against the 6 official sources below. This is an editorial source check, not approval by a clinician, lawyer or benefits adviser.

Editorial note: By Does Your Duck Quack.